If you're a pirate I don't believe it
I don't believe that you are capable of such deeds
If you're a pirate let's see your wallet
and we will see if you are licensed for the seas
Are you capable of swinging from the riggings of a ship
Or wearing a black do-rag when it really ain't that hip
I don't think so,
I don't think so, at all
CHORUS:
So where's your eye patch
Where's your peg leg
If you're a pirate
Where's your gun
Where's your booty
Your sassy parrot
I can't picture you on a bottle of cheap rum
'Cause You're the worst pirate,
the worst pirate in the world
You're the worst pirate,
the worst pirate in the world
'Cause you're a girl
So all you females just put your swords down
I'm not a fool and I'm not amused
You've got no hook hand, no secret island
And pirates never go to the bathroom in twos
So if this isn't some sort of cheap prank
Then tell me who exactly walks your plank
Not me, not me
No, nay, never, not me
CHORUS
A pirate vessel is not a bedroom
No walk-in closet, there's no bidet
There's no pink loofah hanging in the shower and
pirates don't worry about what shoes they wear today
Because everyone knows that pirates just wear black
They raise a flag of skull and bones when they attack
Not birds and flowers, not birds and flowers, no way!
CHORUSx2
Some of them are hairy
Some of them are bald
Some are kinda scary
And this is what they're called
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Some belong to virgins
They're really tight and strong
But big or small, I love 'em all
That's why I sing my song
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Vagina
Some of them are smelly
Like clams and fish and such
Some smell like a summer's eve
Cause they've been duesched too much
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Nothin could be finer
Than to be in a vagina
In the morning
PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
Melody--Side by Side
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Tune: Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Note: A series of gestures/movements accompany the lyrics
Lyric Swing low sweet chariot
Gesture swinging motion with arms kiss fingers snapping reins
Gesture swinging motion with arms kiss fingers snapping reins
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Lyric Swing low sweet chariot
Gesture swinging motion with arms kiss fingers snapping reins
Gesture swinging motion with arms kiss fingers snapping reins
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Lyric I looked over Jordan and what did I seeGesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture point to eye shade eyes with hand sweeping motion with arm jump shot ala Michael Jordan question mark motion in air point to eye shade eyes with hand
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Lyric A band of angels coming after me
Gesture play “air” trombone place thumbs in armpits and flap arms masturbate point over shoulder point to self
Gesture play “air” trombone place thumbs in armpits and flap arms masturbate point over shoulder point to self
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Lyric If you get there be- fore I doGesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture question mark motion in air point to someone point over shoulder mark letter “B” in air four fingers point to eye squat as if defecating
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Lyric Tell all my friends I’m comin’ too
Gesture cup hands around mouth as if shouting sweeping motion with arms point to self fornication motion with hands point to self simulated masturbation hold up two fingers
Gesture cup hands around mouth as if shouting sweeping motion with arms point to self fornication motion with hands point to self simulated masturbation hold up two fingers
Lyric Comin’ for to carry me home
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Gesture simulated masturbation hold up four fingers hold up two fingers cradle arms point to self make arch over head with arms
Repeat:
With Reverence (humming only)
Silently (motions only)
Double Time (quickly)
Scooby-Doo (ring row, reet rariot…)
Bob Dylan (imitate Bob D.)
etc.
With Reverence (humming only)
Silently (motions only)
Double Time (quickly)
Scooby-Doo (ring row, reet rariot…)
Bob Dylan (imitate Bob D.)
etc.
