Hare- ucation or how to suckless as a hare

This guideline is intended for both new and old
brain dead hashers attempting to Lay a trail to be remembered.
(thank you tidewater) 
  If you want to have fun, drink beer, and enjoy the camaraderie of your fellow hashers, put some effort into the "Trail".
Help ensure your trail is remembered as "a damn fine'Shitty' trail".

TABLE OF CONTENTS

SCOUTING

TRAIL LENGTH

PARKING

FLOUR & CHALK

PRE-LAYING

DOWN-DOWN VEHICLE

HARE SNARES

SYMBOLOGY

VEHICLE SHUTTLE

DOWN-DOWN LOCATION

SIMPLE MATH

 
 

SCOUTING

Invest some time for planning the starting point, the route, and ending location of your trail.
Traipsing through private property should be avoided unless permission is granted.
Police and open consumption of beer do not mix.
Try to avoid lengthy straight stretches (especially of pavement), it's boring and too much like real exercise for the average Hasher.
Plan your intersections, BT's, back checks, true trail arrows, special maps/instructions, and chicken/eagle splits. Please don't forget the beer check(s)! Hares are responsible for arranging a means for the Beer Check cooler(s) to get to the Beer Check. The Beer Meister will provide the cooler(s) full of libations along with "el cheapo" plastic vessels at the start of the hash.
 
 

TRAIL LENGTH

Make your trail a reasonable distance! A long trail isn't necessarily a good trail! Plan a true trail of about 4 to 5 miles with the duration of 45 minutes to one hour. The FRB's will run further as they solve and mark intersections, back checks, maps, riddles, etc and the slower hashers will be able to follow true trail and therefore get to the end without it seeming like a time warp has occurred.
Do not measure your length (of trail that is) using a road map, that method invariably causes trail to be longer than anticipated. Run and time yourself on true trail prior to the Hash and then do a little math (depending on your pace) to extrapolate the distance and/or time. The average Hasher will meander down trail at a whopping 10 minutes per mile, and lots of heavy shiggy will slow the pace even further.
 
 

PARKING

The start location should provide adequate parking for the anticipated number of Hashers. Ask the Hash-Cash or GM how many hashers to plan for if the start has a limited parking capacity and find another location if parking is going to be a pain in the arse.
 
 

FLOUR & CHALK

Hares provide the hash for laying trail. It should be thrown with wild abandon by the fistfuls, not in pinches hidden strategically along the trail. Two hares will normally use a minimum of 10 pounds of hash per trail unless there is lots 'o shiggy. A trail through heavy shiggy, (no routinely trodden path) must be marked much more often for the pack to follow it. Consider "pre-laying" an extra 5-pound bag at some point along your trail or with the beer check to replenish your hash supply if shiggy is your thing.
Chalk is provided by the chalk-meister at the beginning of the Hash.
The expense of the flour as well as the effort put forth by the Hares in designing and executing an alluring, fascinating, beguiling and seductive trail make it unnecessary for them to pay the Hash fee.
 
 

PRE-LAYING

Absolutely nothing wrong with it in the interest of making the trail more fun and interesting. You may be called into the circle for a down-down (Oh darn!) if it's painfully obvious that you unnecessarily pre-laid. Lone hares sometimes pre-lay the BT's for their planned intersections or pre-lay a section of trail in order to bypass it during the hash. This allows them time to concentrate on laying a well-marked trail with copious numbers of intersections and BT's. Pre-laying has also been done with hand-written or computer generated maps posted on doors, windows, trees etc to add some variety to the trail. JUST DO IT if you think it will enhance your trail!
 
 

DOWN-DOWN VEHICLE

Hares are responsible for arranging a designated vehicle to transport down-down bags, coolers, etc to the down-down. For an outdoor down-down ensure the driver has good directions so the BEER coolers arrive in a timely manner! Hell hath seen no fury greater than that of a thirsty Hasher at trail's end without beer except of course that of a woman scorned.
 
 

HARE SNARES

Don't worry about it! There will always be those shortcutting bastards that immediately deviate from your perfectly planned trail on a "search and snare" mission. Hares get snared more often than not at TH3, so remain focused on laying your trail as planned.
When snared, i.e. actually touched by a fellow Hasher while still laying a trail, the Hare(s) usually utter a few expletives as well as dole out a compliment such as "Well done, you *ucking asshole" and then proceed to lay the remainder of their trail. The snarer(s) will mark the snare point with chalk and wait there for five minutes prior to resuming their quest. They will also brag with impassioned fervor of their sublime achievement to any other Hashers arriving at that location and hold them on station until the five minute waiting period is over.
 
 

SYMBOLOGY/SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS

Use standard TH3 marks as shown:

	HARE ARROW (Denotes true trail and can only belaid by Hares)		HOUND ARROW  (Laid by the Hounds and by the  Hares offroad)
	BACK CHECK (With # of hash marksinserted)		HASH (Flour)
	BE CAFEFUL (Used to warn hashers of a hazard)		INTERSECTION OR CHECK	-OR-
	ON TRUE TRAIL		BAD TRAIL	-OR-
	BEER CHECK  (There may be more than one on trail)		WRONG WAY ON TRUE TRAIL
	CHICKEN EAGLE SPLIT (Chicken for slowpokes Eagle for the Overachivers)		THE END IS WITHIN SITE	-OR-

When the Hare uses a non-standard symbol or has created a special symbol, elaborate profusely when the Hash Master/Mattress calls upon the hares for special instructions. It's considered standard at TH3 that more than three consecutive hash dollops (smatterings, piles, blobs, splooches, whatever) indicate true trail. That by no means should deter Hares from laying a nice long bad trails should they desire, but if done they should be appropriately marked with a bad trail or a back check mark. The Hare could also announce during special instructions that "more than three don't mean doo-doo."
Another standard is that an intersection means true trail, therefore no intersections should be laid on a bad/false trail.
Swimming is another example of an event for which a special instruction should be announced. If there is a water crossing deep enough that those, um , height-challenged hashers may founder or that everyone will have to swim, then let it be known. Then those who may have a proclivity to drown can "long-cut" or cling to a savior.
Other items that should be announced:

Chicken/Eagle Splits Number of beer checks Where the map/directions to the down-down will be located for those poor "lost on trail" souls Any special considerations such as whether the trail has a location(s) where it may be prudent to not blow whistles (through hospitals, golf courses, & police stations, etc).

VEHICLE SHUTTLE

When the Hash is A to B, the Hares are responsible for organizing transportation back to the starting point either at the end of the down-down or before it begins. This can usually be accomplished with the vehicle used for the beer check.
Outdoors Down-Downs: Try to pick a legal venue. In the great Commonwealth of Virginia that isn't easy because it's illegal to consume alcoholic beverages in public. That eliminates school grounds, playgrounds and most public parks, etc. as legal down-down locales, although they are among our favorites. To date we've only been chased out of these areas and haven't been fined. A private residence is the ideal locale, but in lieu of that choose a venue that is out of the way, where we can't be seen by a lot of nosy people that will whip out their cell phone and call you know who.
Indoors Down-Downs: Find cozy or sleazy or grungy or nice pubs or bars or joints that will give us a break on beer and food prices and that have plenty of parking. Find out whether or not they have a bunch of rabid football or basketball fans that fill the place on Sundays. Don't use it if that's the case unless they have a separate room or back area where we won't be intrusive to them or them to us.
 
 

DOWN-DOWN LOCATION

Outdoor Down-Downs: The Hash Cash will reimburse the Hares for money spent on chow and related incidentals such as napkins, plastic ware and condiments. One way to ensure a good feed is to grill hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken or mystery meat.
Or cook up a big 'ole batch of your favorite recipe, i.e. chili, spaghetti, etc. to serve up. Be sure to provide several assorted bags of crunchy stuff too. Victuals don't always have to consist of a cooked meal though. Snacks are an acceptable food for us to "feed our faces" after a little physical activity, after all, the intent is to get some food in our bellies before we imbibe heavily. TH3 sometimes has a "Snack-Meister" during the outdoor down-down season that will provide snackage. Should the Hare(s) be among the poor and wretched suffering masses, arrangements can be made to obtain some legal tender up front from Hash Cash to make food purchases. The "Beer-Meister" will provide the "nectar of the gods" for the beer check and the down-down. Other hashers provide Gatorade and water.
Indoor Down-Downs: Hares are responsible for both the victuals and the libations at the down-down. The Beer-Meister will supply a cooler of libations for pre-hash imbibing and beer check(s). Again, others provide Gatorade and water.
 
 

SIMPLE MATH

The Hash cost each Hasher 5 smackeroos. Count on 2 of every 5 dollar hash fee being used for victuals. If 50 people are routinely venturing out to Hash there is 250 bucks total to be spent of which about $100 is for food. So plan on spending $100 or less for an outdoor down-down. Therefore it follows that for 50 Hashers and an indoor down-down we're going to spend the entire $250. This is especially good poop for negotiating price breaks at the pub/bar prior to the Hash. Dangle this monetary carrot in front of the manager's nose and haggle a little bit for reduced prices. Mentioning specific figures while negotiating beer and food prices for a mere 2-3 hours of labor usually results in lower beer prices, ergo MORE BEER. You can also add to your pitch that often the partying will continue after the designated moola is spent as the Hashers pass the hat for MORE BEER.
Follow the info herein and your trail will be remembered by the pack as "a damn fine trail".