SMUTTy 79
Well Hashers and Harriettes we had another fine SMUTTy Crab adventure this
Saturday with FCA promising a "Polar Bear" run with frosty weather, frosty beer
and frosty Hashers. Everything started out grand with the pack away and the
hare riding in the beer truck to the first beer stop, can anyone say "pre-lay"?
Of course, that should have been our first clue that all was not as it should
be. It was cold and wet and we were all soaked in the fist 100 yards. The
slowest among us got to follow the bouncing bottoms of the three lovely virgins
who showed up. SMUTTy loves virgins! But soon, things took a turn for the
worse. Turns out our hare forgot all about the turning of the earth and what
happens when you hash near a large body of water: TIDES. Yes, you guessed it,
he laid the entire trail under water. So when we finally ran out of dissolved
puffs of flour to follow and the ice cold Patuxent was in front of us we did
what any good pack would do; send Goat Nut Barber across. After much whining,
his voice went up a couple octaves, he made it across and found nothing. There
was much whistle blowing and "are u" calling in hope that Stillet Ho would haul
her happy ass out of the warm beer truck and let us know where she was.
Nothing. After much debate, the GM authorized a one-time exemption for
technology on trail, but alas all these f@ck nuts left their phones at the
start. And so, with a heavy heart and much bitching from Goat Nut because he
had to cum back across the river, the pack, for the first time in SMUTTy
history, turned around with our tails between our legs and headed back to the
start. Where upon calling our loyal Hash Mattress we found that FCA, while
laying the second leg of this disaster, WAS LOST! He had to back track his own
trail to the beer truck with his tail between his legs and the certain knowledge
that the Hashit was going nowhere any time soon. On the plus side, we found
that often missing Just Scott, has a super power: Virgin RADAR! It must have
been working over time because we got to meet Just Heather, Just Shannon, and
Just Jamie. Aparently they had been stalking the Hash for some time. And there
was a naming! After the grand entrance of Just Gabby in the Turrette's Truck,
she will forever more be known as It Didn't Look That Deeeeep! And so we
conclude another successful mindless adventure. Be sure to check the calendar
for the details on the upcumming Valentines Day Massaker.
nO-nO,
Goo
Hello Wankers!
This Saturday the 22nd of January, 2011 will be the DC Smutty Run! I'm very excited and I've been planning this for a while!
Start Time will be 4 pee em so that we can be at the monument after it closes to the public at 5 and we can have it all to ourselves!
The Start location will be the "A" Parking Lot on Ohio Dr in SW Washington DC...
